Taking the step of Marriage
It can be kind of scary going into a marriage. For me I question if I'm making the right decision. In the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we believe that Marriage, within the temple, is eternal. I'm going to be with this person forever, even beyond the grave. This person will also be the parent of my children. This is the person that will know everything about me and my family and thus has power to tear it down intentionally or unintentionally. Will I get annoyed by this person, and will I fight with this person? Can I trust this person with all of these things? With fears like these it can be hard to continue and make that commitment, but that really is what it takes is commitment.
Many people have bought in to the idea of cohabitation. This is where a person moves in with their significant other to see what it's like to live with them. It seems like a good plan from the outside but inward it really is a trap. In a study done by William G. Axinn and Arland Thornton they say, "We develop hypotheses predicting that premarital cohabitation is selective of those who are prone to divorce as well as hypotheses predicting that the experience of premarital cohabitation produces attitudes and values which increase the probability of divorce." They don't say specifically that cohabitation increases chances of divorce, but they do mention the mindset. In cohabitation there people don't act as if they were married because they aren't. They're still very much independent of each other. They have separate bank accounts. They have separate cars and Separate paths. Not everything is shared. There is a form of independence. In another study by Powdthavee and Nattavudh they say "we find strong evidence of altruism represented by interdependent relationships in the reported well-being found only among spouses, and not by partners in cohabiting union." I once interviewed a married couple and asked what was the hardest thing when it came to getting married. They said becoming dependent on one another.
As we graduate from high school and start moving out of our parent's home, we try to become as independent as possible. We get our own apartment take care of our own expenses, get a job, try to become as financially stable as possible, make our own decisions, we want to make it in life. When we get married we have to rely on another person to help make decisions. Our plans become aligned with theirs. Everything that is ours becomes theirs as well. Being able to become interdependent can make marriage strong. There are many people who continue to be independent in a marriage, but it just doesn't work. It requires full commitment to one's spouse. Husband and wife must be one with each other.
Axinn, W.G., Thornton, A. The relationship between cohabitation and divorce: Selectivity or causal influence?. Demography 29, 357–374 (1992). https://doi.org/10.2307/2061823
Powdthavee, and Nattavudh. “Testing for Utility Interdependence in Marriage: Evidence from Panel Data.” AgEcon Search, 4 Apr. 2004, ageconsearch.umn.edu/record/269599/.
Many people have bought in to the idea of cohabitation. This is where a person moves in with their significant other to see what it's like to live with them. It seems like a good plan from the outside but inward it really is a trap. In a study done by William G. Axinn and Arland Thornton they say, "We develop hypotheses predicting that premarital cohabitation is selective of those who are prone to divorce as well as hypotheses predicting that the experience of premarital cohabitation produces attitudes and values which increase the probability of divorce." They don't say specifically that cohabitation increases chances of divorce, but they do mention the mindset. In cohabitation there people don't act as if they were married because they aren't. They're still very much independent of each other. They have separate bank accounts. They have separate cars and Separate paths. Not everything is shared. There is a form of independence. In another study by Powdthavee and Nattavudh they say "we find strong evidence of altruism represented by interdependent relationships in the reported well-being found only among spouses, and not by partners in cohabiting union." I once interviewed a married couple and asked what was the hardest thing when it came to getting married. They said becoming dependent on one another.
As we graduate from high school and start moving out of our parent's home, we try to become as independent as possible. We get our own apartment take care of our own expenses, get a job, try to become as financially stable as possible, make our own decisions, we want to make it in life. When we get married we have to rely on another person to help make decisions. Our plans become aligned with theirs. Everything that is ours becomes theirs as well. Being able to become interdependent can make marriage strong. There are many people who continue to be independent in a marriage, but it just doesn't work. It requires full commitment to one's spouse. Husband and wife must be one with each other.
Axinn, W.G., Thornton, A. The relationship between cohabitation and divorce: Selectivity or causal influence?. Demography 29, 357–374 (1992). https://doi.org/10.2307/2061823
Powdthavee, and Nattavudh. “Testing for Utility Interdependence in Marriage: Evidence from Panel Data.” AgEcon Search, 4 Apr. 2004, ageconsearch.umn.edu/record/269599/.
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